Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Fake News

It seems like everyone, including mainstream media, is getting into the "fake news" business. Not wanting to be left out of a growing trend in the publishing industry, I feel pressured to make my own contributions...

Hillary Caught Telling The Truth: In a surprising and utterly shocking development, Hillary Clinton was caught telling a bold-face truth to reporters. In the past, she has done this only when under oath and threat of perjury. Even her steadfast and most zealous supporters were caught off-guard. Nancy Pelosi (we must pass this bill in order to know what's in it) commented "this is not our party's way...clearly, her major health problems have impaired her judgement".

CNN Registers As Lobbyist: CNN has announced that it is giving up all pretense of being an independent, fact based news organization and has registered with the government as a lobbyist organization. CEO, Jeff Zucker, stated that "we have lost so much trust with the American public by way of our false and biased reporting that we felt we could make more money as lobbyist... plus, we no longer have to worry about all that journalistic integrity nonsense such as having two sources confirm a story".

Trump Quits Twitter: White House Press Secretary, Sean Spencer, told reporters that President Trump feels so badly about by-passing the mainstream media via his Twitter account that he will no longer 'tweet'. There is some concern that this move may give the media less to report and therefore lead to job losses within the industry which ironically, is the opposite of Trump's goal of creating more jobs in America.

Mexico To Build A Border Wall: Mexico has announced that due to a massive influx of illegal immigrants from Guatemala and Belize, they will build a wall on their southern border and America will pay for it. Although there were no specifics on how the USA will pay for it, speculation is there will be a border tax on all illegal drugs smuggled into the country.

As I once told Mark Twain, "The difference between nonfiction and fiction is that fiction must be believable".


Sunny Weathers said...

At last a reliable news source for those of us on the open road - please keep 'em coming!

Jim Brown said...

You can count on me to print the truth... or at least a reasonable facsimile.