Casto Canyon

Cecil and I hauled our machines down to the Casto Canyon trailhead off highway 12, a few miles southeast of Panguitch. The first 5-6 miles of the ride is a narrow 50 inch trail that winds its way up through a beautiful redrock canyon; it's like riding through Bryce Canyon. Originally, we had intended to take the Limekiln loop back to the truck but that part of the ride was so mundane as compared to what we had just experienced, we turned around and went back the same way we came.

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK

Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off, mainly, because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting so I accepted. Here are the scorecard's from the event:

Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili 
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili 
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili 
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced.

Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic 
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. •••• those rednecks!

Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili 
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a ••••••• grenade in my mouth, pull the ••••••• pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my ••••••• mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my goddamn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. •••• it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the ••••••• 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili 
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it.
FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

50 Inch Trails

In my opinion, the 50 inch trails are the most scenic and the most fun of the Paiute Trail System. Today, we rode some of my favorites: 54, 53, 33, 89. One moment you are in an Aspen filled forest, the next moment it's an alpine meadow, then a burn area and so on. The variety is truly remarkable. If you do not like the scenery now, just wait five minutes.

Good, not-so-clean fun

Unique boardwalk across a marsh

Terry & Gail Are Moving

To a cozy, one bedroom, no bath fixer-upper in the mountains southwest of Marysvale...

The amenities include a view to die for in the front of the house...

A waterfalls out back...

And given a bear was spotted about a half mile from here, I suspect they will be having fresh game and fish for dinner every night. Please call ahead for reservations.

Life On The RZR's Edge

Terry and Gail drove down today to spend a couple of days with me on the Paiute Trail System. One of the nice things about riding with this "damn-the-torpedos-full-speed-ahead" couple is that I get to do things I would not normally do...

Incredibly difficult obstacles

Treacherous water crossings

Dangerous slot canyons

Redneck Car/ATV Hauler

What do you do when you are short of space and need to haul both your car and your ATVs...

Click on photo to enlarge

Sevier Canyon Trail

Yesterday, we took trail #74 from Hoovers to #13 north to I-70. If you can get through the 50 inch gates, you would probably take #01 & #02 back to Marysvale. In as much as 3 of our 4 vehicles were wider than 50 inches, we took the Sevier Canyon Trail back to #13. It was a great ride with some long, long climbs to the top of mountains where you could see for miles and miles.

There is an actual RZR under all that dirt

New growth in burn area

Paiute Trail #77

I met Mack and Joleen (who I rode with in Moab) and we joined Chris, Beth, and Caleb to see if we could get over the mountain and complete a loop of trail 77...

When we got to ~10,800 feet, we ran into impassible snow drifts and had to turn around...

However, with views like these, no one was complaining...

After spending the winter in Arizona and the spring in Moab, it is a nice change of pace to be in the mountains where there are lots of trees and green is the primary color. Also, riding along white water streams swollen with the runoff from the mountain snow is not bad way to spend the day either.

Steel Bender

Last year, I rode Steel Bender for the first time with the Red Rockin' group. Today, Mack and I rode the loop north of "The Falls". It was interesting to note that the obstacles that were downright frightening last year, did not seem so scary this time around. What a difference a year makes. Here's a video of Mack making one of the tougher climbs look easy...

Canyonlands National Park (south)

Even after two months in the area, I am still impressed by the amazing scenery in southern Utah...

Needles Overlook

Big Spring Canyon Overlook

Wooden Shoe Arch

Wilson Arch

Spring Canyon, Gemini Bridges & Long Canyon

After two days of hard riding in the RZRs, Terry and I opted for the comfort of his truck to play tourist north of Moab. Our first stop was Spring Canyon...

It's a long way down

The road to the bottom of the canyon is just wide enough for the truck

Then we visited the Gemini Bridges...

Here's Terry making sure the bridge is structurally sound

On the way out, we meet this lady with two large parrots on her shoulder (you cannot make this stuff up)...

Moab seems to attract an eclectic group of personalities

Then on to Long Canyon...

It's all I can do to keep Terry from jumping onto this rock edifice

It's about a million miles down to the bottom of the canyon

I guess the urge to leap across something dangerous was too great

And lastly, here's Terry's plan to get a new truck...

Poison Spider, Golden Spike, Eagles Dare

Terry and I rode up to the Eagles Dare overlook for a spectacular view of the canyon which includes the Corona Arch, the Colorado River, and the Potash railroad...

Click on photos to enlarge

Although I had ridden these trails in a jeep, it was a completely different experience in the RZR. There are a number of interesting obstacles that will give you either a cardio workout or send you into cardiac arrest depending on the line you take...

My Sony camera will not extend the lens (lots of fine dust in the area) so Terry was today's official photographer.

Too Much Fun

Terry, my friend from the Arizonian, drove down from Salt Lake City to spend a couple of days riding with me. I promised his wife, Gail, that I would keep him off the dangerous trails. And like Obama, I always keep my promises...

Click on photos to enlarge

Terry scared the pee out of the guy in top right of photo

However, I did not promise to keep myself off those trails...

Fins N Things Hill Climbs

I was going through some earlier video and came across two segments that demonstrate the incredible traction you get on the "slickrock" here in Moab. If you place your hand on the sandstone, it feels like sandpaper. Although the following video does a good job of showing the steepness of the hills, it still does not capture the feeling you get when you are sitting behind the wheel.

I understand the name "slickrock" came from early settlers whose wagons with metal covered wheels and horses with metal horseshoes had trouble navigating the area.

Moab Rim

Today, I joined a group of hard core ORV riders (RZR XPs with 30 inch tires) and they wore my butt out. We did Moab Rim in the morning and then Fins N Things and Hells Revenge in the afternoon. My body tells me it must be midnight but my watch says its only 8:00 p.m. It has to be broken.

The Moab Rim trail is rated 7+* and it was my toughest ride to date (a track of the ride including time, distance, speed and elevation has been uploaded to EveryTrail). What makes it so difficult are the steep, off-camber ledges. It is very easy to put a wheel (or two) in the air. I believe I have some excellent video of the ride but it will have to wait until another time as I am slowly slipping into a coma...

*Body damage and rollovers are possible with less experienced drivers. Modified machines with skid plates and body protection recommended.

Update (5/12/2013): Here are some videos of yesterday's rides...

This is what awaits you when you leave the Hells Revenge parking lot to begin your ride...

Hells Revenge

Last Tuesday we did Hells Revenge but I did not get any good photos for the blog so I did not post the ride. This evening I was able to transfer some photos and videos from Andi's phone to my computer so I thought I would include them in today's post.

This was my first Moab "hot tub"...

The "Car Wash"

This was my first Moab "double diamond" obstacle. It's called "Tip Over Challenge"...

Fins N Things

A fun day riding Fins N Things in the Salt Flats Recreation Area. Here's a video of the RZR climbing up and then down one of the "Fins"...

Spring & Hey Joe Canyons

Rusty, Andi, Dave, Sherry, and I rode our side by sides up to an old, abandoned uranium mine on the Green River (click here to see post from last Fall). The narrow trail that hugs the side of the cliff from the top of Spring Canyon to the bottom is a unique riding experience with breathtaking views of the canyon (click here to see video).

Abandoned dozer at the mine

The Pickle

Another hard core trail north of Moab...

Bashful & Winnie at the first obstacle

Bob with one wheel off the ground & a big smile on his face

Tom saving rubber on his tires

Bitten By A Duck

Occasionally, I come across something so bizarre that I have to wonder if it is fiction. Here's a great example of what happens when government gets involved in healthcare...

It turns out that the government has a book (ICD-10) of medical codes that doctors have to use when billing Medicare and other third-party payers for their services. One of the codes is W61.61XA which means "bitten by a duck". W61.62XA means "struck by a duck".

ICD-10 stands for the International Statistical Classification of Diseases. The "10" means that this is the 10th Revision. ICD-9 contains outdated and obsolete terms, doesn't capture enough data about a patient's condition and fails to describe the current medical practice. The people who create the codes were running out of new numbers and letters in the ICD-9 system. With ICD-10, physicians can more specifically identify the area of concern. But the changes make the new version nearly five times larger than the old one. It is expected that next year's book will be ten times larger. Is it any wonder that healthcare costs continue to rise.

Now, if you are "bitten by a dolphin, a shark or a duck", there's a code for the initial encounter and subsequent encounter (if there is one). They are more descriptive and detailed. One is for "walking into a lamppost". Others for "walking into a wall or a piece of furniture". There is even one for "burned due to water-skis catching fire" (V91.07XA). Most of us would be hard put to make this stuff up.

Corona & Bowtie Arches

It's a 1.5 mile, moderate hike back to the arches that is well worth the effort. You will want to wear good hiking shoes/boots that grip the sandstone as there are a couple of places where you will welcome the extra traction...

Much steeper than it looks

Bowtie (left) & Corona (right)

Corona Arch (note people at bottom)