Liquid Assets

I am considering a new retirement portfolio...

• If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today. 
• If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.
• If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.
• But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.
• Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
• A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
• Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
• That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be an American!