Play On Words

• When chemists die, they barium. 
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. 
• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. 
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. 
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. 
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. 
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. 
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. 
• PMS jokes aren't funny; period. 
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. 
• We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. 
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. 
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? 
• When you get a bladder infection urine trouble. 
• Broken pencils are pointless. 
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. 
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. 
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. 
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. 
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. 
• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. 
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. 
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. 
• Velcro - what a rip off! 
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. 
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! 
• The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault. 
• Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.