Play On Words

• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
• When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
• When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
• The batteries were given out free of charge.
• A dentist and a manicurist married; they fought tooth and nail.
• A will is a dead giveaway.
• If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
• Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
• Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
• A boiled egg is hard to beat.
• When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
• Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
• Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
• If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
• A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
• When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
• He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
• Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
• When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
• Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Rest Easy, Fellow Citizens: The Feds Are On The Case

Dave Barry is one of my favorite humorists so when I came across one of his articles satirizing absurd government actions, I could not resist the temptation to post the following excerpt:

On May 11, two employees of DeBest Inc., a plumbing company, were working at a construction site in Garden City, Idaho, when they heard a backhoe operator yell for help. They ran over, and found that the wall of a trench - which was NOT dug by DeBest - had collapsed on a worker, pinning him under dirt and covering his head.

"We could hear muffled screams," said one of the DeBest employees. So the men jumped into the trench and dug the victim out, quite possibly saving his life.

What do you think OSHA did about this? Do you think it gave the rescuers a medal? If so, I can see why you are a mere lowlife taxpayer, as opposed to an OSHA executive. What OSHA did - remember, I am not making this up - was FINE DEBEST INC. $7,875. Yes. OSHA said that the two men should not have gone into the trench without (1) putting on approved hard hats, and (2) taking steps to insure that other trench walls did not collapse, and water did not seep in. Of course this might have resulted in some discomfort for the suffocating victim ("Hang in there! We should have the OSHA trench-seepage-prevention guidelines here within hours!"). But that is the price you pay for occupational health and safety.

Unfortunately, after DeBest Inc. complained to Idaho Sen. Dirk Kempthorne, OSHA backed off on the fines. Nevertheless, this incident should serve as a warning to would-be rescuers out there to comply with ALL federal regulations, including those that are not yet in existence, before attempting to rescue people. ESPECIALLY if these people are in, say, a burning OSHA office.

Custom Icon For Your Smartphone

Historically, when I wanted to view my blog on my android phone, I would press the 'Browser' icon and then either type in the url or call up 'Bookmarks' and then look for the appropriate link. As this is a little cumbersome and time consuming, I thought there should be a better way and sure enough, there is.

Here's how you can very easily create an icon shortcut on your home screen that will take you directly to the webpage of your choosing:

• First, create a traditional bookmark for the webpage that you want to link to.
• Then, return to the home screen and press-and-hold (in an empty space) to bring up the 'Add to Home screen' menu and select 'Shortcut', then 'Bookmark' and select the desired bookmark.

That's all there is to it.

Polaris RZR XP 1000

Here's an entertaining video of the new Polaris RZR XP 1000 being put through its paces. At first, I thought they had hired my friend, "Utah Terry", as their driver but no, it was some other less skilled professional.

RV Repair

Somewhere on the trip from Colorado to North Carolina, I lost the cover to the refrigerator vent on the roof. I figure I either drove too close to a tree branch or a giant bird of prey took it (probably, the latter).

I discovered the loss when during a recent rain event, the GFCI tripped and I lost power to one side of the RV. Thinking the outlet had gone bad, I replaced it but to no avail. Then I noticed the refrigerator was running on gas instead of electric which caused me to look outside and sure enough, here is what I discovered...

Before

Enough water had gotten into the area behind the refrigerator to short circuit the GFCI. Fortunately, once it dried out, everything started working again. After a trip to Camping World for a universal cover, I was able to make the following repair...

After

It's nice to know that if this blogging thing does not work out, I now have a new skill set to fall back on.